Inspired in Adversity … it is God’s Will
Posted on July 18th, 2010 | by Rohan |
I have often spoken of my admiration for Nelson Mandela, and I am absolute in the esteem in which I hold him, on the day that marks his 92nd Birthday. My thoughts this weekend turned to the struggle for freedom in South Africa, but particularly to one man, Stephen Bantu Biko.
Over the course of the weekend, I have read excerpts from Donald Woods‘ biography of Biko, and watched Richard Attenborough’s emotive screenplay, Cry Freedom, based on the aforementioned writings.
It struck me, more than anything, to be nothing less than a tragedy that so intelligent and brave a man had his life so cruelly cut short at the age of 30, and moreover that he never saw the day when his vision and dream became reality.
I contemplated the fact that so many people are taken so crushingly early from us, and of course I reflected upon the fact that I lost my fiancée 8 months ago today, at the tender age of 32.
I can only describe my emotions and thoughts as both provocative and powerful, full of question and passion, although fortunately bereft of anger. It would probably explain why I attended St Martin’s Church this morning perhaps carrying a persona which, upon reflection, was unnecessarily burdened.
St Martin’s has become much more than a church to me in recent months, since I first attended on Easter Sunday. It has become a family of which I am truly blessed to be a member. As an individual, I find myself able to communicate with God in a manner that I have previously found difficult, and I am surrounded by the warmth of some particularly special people.
I understand, however, that not all who read this page are ‘believers’, so I will not preach or attempt to convert via this medium. However, all I can say is that however low I may feel at different points during the week, I walk away from St Martin’s every Sunday, without fail, feeling totally at peace with myself and those around me, a truly liberating sensation.
I know that Josh Jones, the Director of Music at St Martin’s whom I have previously mentioned, had doubts about his relationship with God, when he first entered the iconic church some 12 years ago. A decade and some later, his journey at St Martin’s ended this morning, as Josh and his lovely young family undertake a new calling within the Church, in New Zealand.
Today, Josh revealed the question that he had posed of himself at the beginning of his journey – “What has Jesus ever done for me?” – I could not help thinking that a truthful answer to this question prevents so many tortured souls from seeking solace in the Church.
The answer to this question is subjective to each of us, but I always return to a single biblical passage:-
Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me (Psalms 27:10)
Whilst neither of my parents have ever forsaken me, and believe me I have given them both cause to walk away over the years as I fought my own demons, I remain safe in the knowledge that the Lord will always be at my side, ready to carry me in those times when I am unable to do so myself.
The Lord replied, ”The times when you have seen only one set of footprints, is when I carried you.” (Footprints in the Sand)
Even today, on his special and emotional day, one on which everyone felt the wish to spend some time with him, it was Josh that found the time to seek me out and see how I was.
It is this humility, his wonderful ability to combine music and prayer to lift those around him, and his generous and giving nature as a man and wonderful parent that have made him an immensely important part of my own ‘rehabilitation’ in recent months.
Whilst not alone, he has been instrumental in making me, a stranger some few months ago, feel like a wanted and needed member of the Church. He has been the focal point around which I have built a new, stronger, relationship with God, and my thanks are humble and unending. Quite simply, no individual has had such a profound impact on my life in such a short period of time.
I did experience another wonderfully overwhelming moment this morning. Too often, we forget the special gift of children, the fact that they are truly the most wonderful blessing. As I lit a candle, as I do every Sunday, for Danielle and others who are no longer with us, I felt a tear fall slowly across my cheek. From seemingly nowhere, a young child of no more than 5 came to me and held on to my arm. He followed with the most precious and wonderfully innocent words:
Can I talk to your candle too please Mister?
I was lifted in an instant at this true gift. I was reminded that the answer to all of my thought provoking questions over Dani’s loss, even that of Steven Biko, was incredibly simple.
It is God’s Will, and none of us can argue with Divine Will. And even in those moments where we may be disagreeable, may doubt and may feel persecuted, the gift of humility and grace is an eternal blessing.
For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted (Luke 14:11)
She went through an experience some 21 years ago that no person should ever have to endure. She has bravely recalled her memories and confronted them. As I said to her last night, you suffered as you did because it was God’s purpose – he knew that she would have the eventual strength to overcome, to inspire, and to be the most positive of friends and influences to so many.
Jane, I thank you for your dear friendship and salute your bravery. The particular blog post to which I responded can be seen here.
