He Tore A Hamstring Dot Mee Dot UK

The Meaning of Life

In modern times, I often hear debates as to the Meaning of Life, mainly as to whether it revolves around theology, science or philosophy, not to mention ideology. Personally, I have always taken the route of theology, having been brought up as a Christian and with a firm belief in God.

It is probably fair to say that I was a somewhat confused Christian … confirmed and with 1st Communion taken in a Catholic Church, but learning about religion whilst attending a Church of England school. Fortunately, I have long realised that denomination really matters little in comparison to the affirmation of faith and belief. My belief is in God and Christ, regardless of the minor detail of which particular Church that might encompass.

More importantly, I have found my faith in the Catholic Church perpetually diminishing in recent times. Whilst the Vatican has been in crisis over various issues in past weeks, I have had deeper rooted concerns over the attitudes around celibacy, contraception and divorce, whilst I have also been more than a little disappointed in my own church’s lack of support to the family of a long term parishioner who passed away last year. Quite frankly, I had no belief in a church refusing to acknowledge the 21st Century. In that regard, I did not even ask the Catholic Church for any support in the death of my fiancée Danielle, last November, but instead turned to the very helpful St Philip’s Cathedral for assistance in hosting a small memorial evening.

I must confess that the Church has been the furthest thing from my mind in the intervening months. Simply speaking, why would I trust a God to look after Dani in the afterlife, who was incapable of keeping her alive in our present? I did not blame God or the Church for taking Dani, I simply did not recognise its importance or, for that matter, existence. I simply lost faith and trust. That was, until this morning.

I am not sure whether it was the significance of Easter Sunday, but I genuinely wanted to attend Mass this morning. Additionally, I would not say that I discovered St Martin’s this morning, it is after all one of Birmingham’s oldest landmarks standing besides the famous Bull Ring, and one of the first things I see from my apartment every morning. I am so very glad that I did. They describe themselves as “a Christian community seeking to discover the heart of God in the heart of the city of Birmingham”, and they were exactly as described.

“a Christian community seeking to discover the heart of God in the heart of the city of Birmingham”

Often when you enter a new church, it is a quite uncomfortable experience as you struggle to adapt to differentiated orders of service, wording of prayers and even tunes to hymns. At St Martin’s, they simply project each prayer and song, in real time, onto 2 large screens at the front of the Church via PowerPoint, meaning that you never miss anything or feel uneasy. The sermon was bright, interesting and thought provoking, and the clergy so approachable. The congregation was friendly, and in itself a representation of a truly multi-cultural and diversely aged city.

The words were the same, but somehow meant so much more when conveyed with such enthusiasm and joy. This was truly the celebration of God in the 21st Century, combining traditional worship with the same verve that popular culture might imagine Whoopi Goldberg in the Sister Act movies. The St Martin’s website describe their Sunday 11am Service as a way “to enable people, at whatever stage of their Christian faith journey, to meet with God in a way that’s relevant to their lives”, and as previous are absolutely appropriate in their description.

“to enable people, at whatever stage of their Christian faith journey, to meet with God in a way that’s relevant to their lives.”

From a personal perspective, I did find myself battling tears at different points of the service. Maybe it was today that allowed me to finally be at peace with the fact that Dani is safe with God, and in that respect maybe ‘pass the baton’ as it were. I can still grieve, I can still miss, but I need no longer worry, and whilst that comfort precedes closure, closure brings with it stark reality of loss. I was particularly moved by words within the famous hymn, Thine Be The Glory, especially the lyrics:-

“Let the church with gladness, hymns of triumph sing;
For her Lord now liveth, death hath lost its sting.”

Maybe for a minute, death stung harder than at any point in the last 4 months, but I know in the bigger picture that the bottom lyric will hold true with the comfort gained in rediscovering my friendship with God.

Today started simply as another day, with no spiritual significance, and most importantly for me with an extra day off work! It has ended with me finding strength in my faith and comfort in knowing that Dani is in a better place. I am not for a minute preaching to any of my friends for I never have, however I can only thank St Martin’s for giving me the impetus with which I can take my largest step forward in many months.