He Tore A Hamstring Dot Mee Dot UK

‘Bittersweet’

I wonder how many of you have heard of Angostura? It is one of our most famous exports from the Caribbean, owned by many, known by few. It is in itself metaphoric, lest euphoric! Essentially, it is unique in that it is called Angostura Bitters, yet used to make things taste sweet. Bitter-Sweet?? I daresay that most are more familiar with that phrase than with the brand which quite literally proves a theory used in the English language!

If we simply go with the bittersweet notion, that would amply describe my feelings as I write tonight. Take the following brief conversation on Twitter tonight:-

1. 
   rohan_kalli First pint of a long evening going down satisfactorily! Happy Birthday Mr Benbow! http://yfrog.com/5y95zj 06 Mar 2010 from Twittelator
2. 
   TessMorris @rohan_kalli are you going to be dweeting later then?? Haha 06 Mar 2010 from UberTwitter in reply to rohan_kalli

– this quote was brought to you by quoteurl

It would be fair to say that this was my first proper night out since the passing of my fiancée Danielle in November. Of course, I was out at times over the Holiday Season, and have had some enjoyable evenings with friends during that period, but this was the first ‘Saturday Night Out’ in town that I would really classify as such. Were I totally honest, I would have to say that it was a thoroughly enjoyable evening with a small group of great friends, celebrating Ollie’s birthday.

I think that up until this point, I have been ‘protected’ whenever I have been out. It is great to know that friends feel that way about you, but it was in a way liberating to just be me, to be on the same ‘night on the town’ that everyone else was enjoying, and not the grieving fiancé drowning his sorrows. And if I’m honest, I had a great night, most probably because I was surrounded by great people. A few beers and Jägers down the line, I was just a reveller enjoying his mate’s birthday on a Saturday night.

With regard to the ‘tweets’ above, I am neither d-weeting of d-yping … believe me when I say that a ten minute walk home in sub-zero temperatures is enough to incite not only sobriety, but a very special clarity of mind.

With this in mind, I simply say that I am happy, as happy as I could expect to be. Moreover, I suddenly realised that I am allowed to smile, permitted to be happy. Am I still grieving … YES! Am I over Dani … Am I fuck (excuse my language!). Could I ask for more from life at this time … absolutely NOT.

Life is full of challenges. I have often mentioned my friends Lorna H and Victoria Tremlett on this blog. They are brave and inspirational, I’m just a boy who is lucky enough to have had an incredible happiness, and embraces its memory. That memory drives me each and every day to ensure that I never again waste the opportunity which has been bequeathed on me.

I have moments of pain, I have moments of anguish, I have moments of happiness. I am not distraught, I am not delirious. I am the embodiment of the brand … they did not invent the word ‘happysad’, so I just content myself being ‘bittersweet’.