He Tore A Hamstring Dot Mee Dot UK

Deeds, Porcelains, Poles & Strikes …

First and foremost … yes, I have been somewhat quiet this week! I think it’s fair to say that I’ve seen more porcelain than the average Royal Doulton expert during boom-time in Stoke-on-Trent!! We’ll check on weight loss next week!! Anyway, that’s quite enough smutty ‘toilet humour’ for one blog post!

Have been busy on Twitter this evening with friends old and new, which has led me into a promised land existing of a blog loosely held together by the most tenuous of links and anecdotes. You’ll all be aware of Jessica as a contributor to Random Musings (last post here) – it was her joking, and the jovial banter of Messrs Hollis and Harris which led me in this random direction!

ANECDOTE 1 …
Many have noticed that my surname is spelt differently to that of my dad’s! Before you say anything, I promise that I was an excellent speller at school and that the surnames are in fact correctly spelt differently … now there’s a tongue-twisting oxymoronic statement with a difference! My surname is on my birth certificate as KALLICHARAN. However, were you to look up the old man in Cyberspace, the first question Google will ask is if you actually meant Alvin KALLICHARRAN.

I would love to blame it on the unique spelling ability of those in charge of Birmingham’s Registry Office, but it would probably be more accurate to question the spelling ability of our good friends Courvoisier and El Dorado. Legend has it that Dad and his old sparring partner Rohan Kanhai, the legendary West Indian batsman, decided to ‘wet the babies head’, and then surprise mum by registering and naming me before she came out of hospital … now who told them to do that!!

I can’t begin to imagine mum’s joy when later brought her newly named son!! He also managed to omit one of my middle names in the process, but we can live with that! Am not sure anyone would have believed if I was any the holier, with the middle name Isaac, although it would have been nice to have a link to my paternal grandfather after whom the name would have been bestowed.

TENUOUS LINK 1 …
I have on occasion thought about correcting my surname to the proper spelling. However, why lose the anecdote? And furthermore, why spend an eternity waiting to be ‘deed polled‘? Not to mention that most people both know us by the name of Kalli … which people still seem to manage spelling with a combination of C’s and Y’s!

Now the link to this was a rather amusing article that I read today on BBC.co.uk. I could not help but see why certain people would want to go down the Deed Poll route! Whilst I have cruelly ‘extricated the michael’ from the odd cruel name, I could hardly believe that parents could actually be so harsh as to give their newborns some of the following names:- … I thought that Carrie Oakey, Stan Still and Barb Dwyer were amongst the best! More of them can be read here.

So the next time I fret at having the incorrectly spelt surname, I can at least console with the fact that my dad was in fact only drunk and incapable of the Countdown Conundrum, as opposed to being a cruel $£%&^*!

ANECDOTE 2 …
Did anyone know that there was a Postal Strike in 1971? Now, this may not be earth shattering news, but it did change my own personal history!! Dad had, prior to the 1971 County Championship, verbally agreed to play for Glamorgan. The aforementioned industrial action meant that his contract did not arrive in the post … not in timely fashion anyway, even by West Indian standards!

Warwickshire already had notable Guyanese connections in the form of Rohan Kanhai and Lance Gibbs, so it was not wholly unexpected when a representative arrived in Guyana with a contract in hand ready to sign, although maybe a surprise that BWIA got them there any sooner than the ‘strike-ridden’ letter!! Sorry Bee-Wee, but I’ve had too many delays not to raise a jape!

It was not altogether unexpected either, that Kalli Senior signed the contract in front of him, rather than wait for his letter from the Daffodil County! As a result, the Kallichar(r)an family would settle in Birmingham on the banks of the River Rea, as opposed to the Principality on the banks of the Taff. And more importantly, Caribbean roots apart, Anglo-Saxon and not Celt! Which brings me to the extremely …

TENUOUS LINK 2 …
What a marvellous advertisement for Northern Hemisphere Rugby in tonight’s 6 Nations clash in Cardiff. When all is said and done, I doubt that any of the Southern Hemisphere giants will have been too worried, but it was another thrilling Cardiff Encounter. If the Welsh would only play for 80 minutes, they could be particularly dangerous! As it is, we continue as we began with France and England remaining in the chase for a Grand Slam.

Most pundits would have us believe that England will not be part of that 2 nation group come 6pm tomorrow. Their Twickenham clash with Ireland tomorrow represents the biggest match of the tournament so far. England have been pilloried for their performance in Rome on Valentine’s Day, but I expect them to be a different animal in front of a fired up Twickers tomorrow and, unlike many, have a sneaky feeling that they will prevail.

So … after a pair of links that were poor enough to make Smashie & Nicey cringe, I bid you all a fabulous weekend. My predictions are that Chelsea will beat Manchester City, I will throw up at the thought of watching Villa and United on the same screen during Sunday’s Carling Cup Final, and that both England and France will still be in the hunt for a Grand Slam in 2010 … and also that I’ll need to run down to Boots’ for some Andrex … oops, did I say no more Toilet Humour!