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My Meaning of Christmas

Danielle, my dearly loved late fiancée, always despaired of my ‘bah humbug’ approach to Christmas … to be fair, she despaired of me in general, a point to which many of our friends would attest. However, she knew that my flippant nature merely covered up the ‘big kid’ who could not wait for Christmas ‘Iveevy’, Christmas Eve, and Chrimbo Morning itself. I simply enjoy being the devil’s advocate, before donning my Santa Hat and singing horribly out of tune to anyone who will listen.

We often wonder about the meaning of Christmas … turkey, presents, gifts, partying, Jesus?? Who knows? I suspect that it has a slightly different meaning for all of us. However, the one thing that we all share is a need if only for once in the year to show our loved ones how much we care. I have oft wondered why it takes the cold of December and a few days of work to actually do this … having said that, Dani always said I asked too many questions!

This would not have been our first Christmas together, but our first and penultimate as an engaged couple. The most special Christmas memory of my life was with Dani on December 24, 2004. We were in HMV on Manchester King St at 8.30am … still a very private couple in those days.

We had met to swap our Christmas presents before going home to our respective families. There was a middle aged guy at the till, it turned out buying a CD for his daughter. The label said £6, but the till said £13. He obviously did not have enough to purchase it, but without prompting and after breaking the proud argument of this lovely chap, she gave the shop assistant the extra money.

This was a typical gesture from Dani which moved this gentleman to tears, and to the point where he still sent her a Christmas Card this year. At some point, I will make the time to personally let him know that Dani is looking at us from above.

Which brings me back to the original question … the meaning of Christmas? If we remove the theological aspect, it is about family, friends, but always in my opinion remembering those less fortunate.

Can I laugh or celebrate this Christmas? I have no idea, but I will do my utmost. Do I have any desire to laugh or celebrate? Absolutely not. Cry maybe, laughter and happiness are far from the agenda.

However, I have a responsibility to Dani’s memory, and equally importantly to my family and friends to make the very best of it that I can. Besides, I am lucky enough to be surrounded by some very special people.

With this in mind, Happy Holidays to all. Be blessed, happy and cherish every moment.